As long as we live among people here on earth, there will be times when we owe someone an apology and times when we are due an apology from someone. The fact is, we sometimes do things intentionally and/or unintentionally against others, and others do intentional and/or unintentional things against us during our lifetime.
Sometimes we are confronted or confront others with the need of apology, while other times it is left unsaid, but dwells still in the mind of the persons none the less. The person that needs to apologize can dismiss its necessity, and fail to understand why the other person seems to be different or somewhat disconnected from them, and why they can’t simply forget about the issue. The person that needs or expects the apology can dwell in self pity and/or become bitter toward the person simply because they believe they are due the apology, but never receive it.
What I want to ponder is the idea of do we merely pay lip service in apologies that contain conjunctions? Why are we, most often, unable to simply say, “I am sorry, I was wrong”, without having to also pass the guilt to another cause which apparently “caused” us to perform the way we did? By passing this guilt, seemly, from us to this other “cause”, are we really acknowledging our own guilt and asking forgiveness from the person we have offended, or are we really saying, “I am sorry, but this and this caused me to do it, so really it is not or not completely my fault”?
We will say things like: I am sorry, BUT
I had a headache.
I didn’t feel good.
You did it first.
They do it.
I didn’t know.
Here is the question, and by all means, one will answer it themselves, for only we know what we are thinking at the time of apology, whether given or accepted.
When you apologize, do you see your self as guilty (regardless of circumstance and/or other influence) and honestly feel sorry for your actions, or do you simply say the words for personal gain, to make the other person feel better, and/or see the circumstance and/or influence as the true guilty party and yourself as not so much?